Ella is now almost 7 weeks old, and I am really getting back into the swing of things. I have lost most of the baby weight (comes off due to breast feeding) and can fit into some of my old clothing. As I mentioned here, I am only able to wear skirts and tops as opposed to dresses, so the vast majority of my wardrobe is still hanging in my closet, not worn in over a year.
As this is my third child, I knew that expectations of 'glamour' had to be loosened. Though I wish I could look like this:
I knew there was really no point. Frankly, on most days I don't even leave the house! Even though I love to dress up, I get depressed when I put on my full face and ensemble, and then sit on the couch. Plus I don't want baby spit-up on my vintage clothing.
So I had to redefine my definition of glamour. I might not be able to set my hair in curlers, but I could brush it and put it in a sassy ponytail; I might even have time to pin in a flower! I might not be willing to put on a vintage dress, but I could throw on a circle skirt with a t-shirt. I might even have time to add some jewelry! And I might not be able to wear my full face of make-up, but I always had time for some eyeliner and mascara. I might not be able to look like the above Dita, but I could look like this:
It all depends on how you define glamour. For me, glamour is feeling good about yourself and part of feeling good about yourself is not having unrealistic expectations. Yes, I would love to be perfectly coiffed every day, but that is an unrealistic expectation for myself. On the other hand, I love to cook, therefore having a well prepared meal is something I work hard to achieve even after having a baby. Another glamorous mama might not want to cook so she will order food for her family, but she will dress from head to toe. Still another glamorous mama might not be able to do either, but will make sure she gets out for her mani/pedi every week- something I still have yet to do since Ella arrived. The point is to feel good about what you can achieve, not beat yourself up for what you let go.
To that end, here is my first fashion photo in a long time:
This was the first day I was really able to get an entire outfit and make-up and jewelry and take a photo since Ariella entered my life. I love every minute of it! Nothing is vintage (except the bracelets) so I wont be devastated if it gets ruined, but it still has a retro vibe and I feel good in it, which is the most important thing.
So to those of you who have had kids, have you found it more difficult to dress in the morning? What about the things you enjoyed before the baby came- are you still doing those activities? If not, how do you feel about that? Do you think you could make the time or effort for at least one thing you enjoy? Are you beating yourself up regarding expectations, or are you using this time as a wonderful excuse to let certain things go?
I do find it hard to get dressed in the morning. There's 2 kids to feed, diapers to change, and so on. I'm a sahm so I usually get dressed around 10 or 11 once the chaos has settled. I do the same things I did before my kids were born but I do have to plan ahead for some things. The only thing I wish I expected was that I'd be a better housekeeper. There are a lot of days that I have to let my housework go by the wayside so I can be with the kids or do what I -want- to do.
ReplyDeletegetting everyone ready by noon is good in my household =)
ReplyDeleteNow that my older two are in school and I walk them there and back everyday, I *have* to get dressed everyday. I just refuse to be that mom that is walking her kids to school still in her pajamas. I know that if I do that, I'm just not going to feel like myself. However, I feel like I still have trouble dressing cause I have to wear things that are nursing friendly. Luckily, the kids being in school have made it so I have more time to sew, so my plan is to bust out some practical separates.
ReplyDeleteToday, I have my hair in some 40's style braids (no setting required, so there's a time saver), and my make-up is just foundation, bronzer, powder, mascara and lipstick. Both were super quick, and I feel so much better than I did yesterday with a crappy looking pony tail and no make-up.
Lovely, lovely post, sweet gal. We haven't been blessed with any children yet, but I've long sworn that if/when that day comes, I will strike to be a glamorous mama as much of the time as is feasibly possible. I want my children to understand the importance of having pride in one's appear and striving to look elegant and presentable in social settings (and if they want to follow in mama's footsteps and wear vintage, well all the better! :D).
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your terrific comment today over at Chronically Vintage on my 1950s dorm room post. I agree, that room does seem relatively empty compared to what you'd find in even most "bare bones" dorms today. There's something endearing sweet about it though, and I bet that the girls were able to get a lot of schoolwork and studying done without so many of the modern distractions (computers, TVs, video games, iPods, etc) that kids today have.
Thanks again & have a beautiful Tuesday,
Jessica
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ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how the simple act of getting dressed and doing your hair helps you feel better. :D I often end up going all out clothes, hair, makeup, heels, but only when I am going out. Other wise I tend to stick to comfy, around the house clothes.
I find myself throwing on my track pants a lot more now that I have a baby. I think it's the easier, don't care if it gets ruined/spit up on factor. It makes me want to sew up some vintage style trackies! Especially as I tend to be the try hard Mama who is itching to get everything perfect... :\
xox,
bonita of Depict This!
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Hello. I just found The Proper Lady and I really enjoy the whole site. I really would like to be a real lady. Thank you.
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